hi ^__^ this page is a work in progress
I have drafted this journal post literally 4 separate times since february. Which is when i said i would post a new journal. and i havent forgotten about this in the slightest even i jsut... I dont know. i kept not doing it. i had a lot of thoughts on things i wanted to write out but in the end i didn't know how to word it and it was hgetting in the way of me ever making an update so i'm just gonna leave that part for another time. and focus on the present..
the biggest thing going on for me right now is that i'm CATSITTING! I'm catsitting this sweet old lady cat (rory) and she's an absolute darling. she's sleeping next to me RN. she's old and her meows sound really funny they're hardly meows sometimes.. she's really a sweetheart i've been having a lot of fun. i've been staying over to watch her and i'm sooo thankful for this whole experience because its lowkey my dream life in a way. it's in a walkable area with public transportation nearby as well as a grocery store, some restaurants, an ice cream place... etc. which i honestly don't think ive ever really had. i've walked to get groceries a few times and its so awesomeee. I cant lie though i was nervous. it was honestly quite scary at times but i did it and it has gotten easier ^__^.
ive gotten more comfortable(?) driving too which is kind of crazy to think about. it's not like it doesn't stress me out still but i'm doing it and it is easier :) i drove back and forth from home to where i'm catsitting multiple times and there's like a semi-highway part of it that i don't love but like im literlaly doing it.. what more can i ask for.
also as i'm writing this i feel like i'm locked inside a hot car because i haven;t been able to locate a fan here..? yet? it's an older apartment so there isn't any central heating or ac which honestly hasn't been a problem.. up until now where it's the hottest it has been this year. i'm a little worried about rory but i reached out to her owners asking about if there's a fan anywhere and am awaiting a reply.. i'm sure it'll be okay though. rory has lived through many many hot summers..
ahhh what else... Oh oh i get to see my friends again in a little over a month >:)!!! im gonna be staying there for 9 whole days i'm so excitedddd. Its gonna be legendary
i can't think of much more to say so i suppose thats about it for now. i think this is my shortest journal entry yet but im honestly just chilling. lots has happened since january but i can't fit that all here.. some hyperfixations have come and gone.. some have stayed. circle of life. i'm finishing writing this at 4:20 on the dot. awesome
first journal of the new year!!!!!!! Awesome :) man i didn't realize how long it had been since my last journal.. i think i'm gonna have a goal of at least doing a journal every month. just for fun. and then more if i so desire... Here we go
if im being 100% honest i dont really know what i should write about.. in terms of my day to day life not a lot has been going on. howeverrrrr i did get my drivers license last month!!!!! yaaay. i'm still a little nervous about driving places on my own but i'm working on it ^__^ i'm getting there. i don't have any public transportation near my house and it's too far to walk anywhere, so this is an important step for me in my whole Living my life goal. i'm especially good at parking the car.
i'm not usually one for new years resolutions but i mean i might as well jot down some stuff here. so here goes. in 2024 i want to:
mannn i mean i could go on and on i guess. so much for not being one for new years resolutions. there are lots of things i wanna do i guess. Gonna be real it's kind of overwhelming to think about. but now i've done my obligatory new years mention
i've been getting back into my ocs a lot more lately! i even finished some art featuring them which is big. it's been months since i've actually colored and finished something. i guess i could show the art pieces here. maybe i will maybe i won't. if art appears below here then you'll know
WARNING!! For brief talk about cults in this paragraph!! it's about a documentary on them. Feel free to skip to the next paragraph. i've also been getting really into netflix docuseries.. i watched one about umm. i mean i guess i should put the titles here. i watched Life on Our Planet, and am currently watching How To Become a Cult Leader and This Is Pop. so basically dinosaurs, cults, and pop music. crazy stuff. honestly i'm not big on the framing of the one about cults. the whole "how to become a cult leader" thing and the way it's presented ("chapters" on how to become a "succesful" cult leader, each chapter/episode is about a different real life cult leader) isn't my favourite. i mean the different episodes are fine but i guess it sort of makes me feel fucked up. like i'm not here to do crazy shit don't talk to me that way... i guess they make light of it in a way i don't enjoy much. but i find it overall to be an interesting series and it really does a good job of showing how deeply manipulative and insidious they can be.
alllllright what else... Oh shit i've been like really really really into popcorn lately. i'm obsessed with it. no sweet popcorn variants though i dont fuck with "caramel popcorn" or "sweet kettle corn" or "chocolate popcorn" just good old homemade buttered salted popcorn. it's so good. i've also been getting back into peanut butter honey sandwiches. and like peanut butter on bread in general. i've also been getting back into pinterest lately.. many oc boards and boards for my friends have been crafted. Ive been listening to 2000s-2010s pop music too with a special focus on kesha and katy perry :)
i also kiiind of think i might be getting sick. my father has been home sick for a matter of days and i've started feeling a little off as well but it might be my imagination. i feel a sort of like little twang in my throat if that makes sense. I dunno i guess i'll just see how it goes. fingers crossed.
honestly i think that's just about everything.. i wouldn't say i've been having an amazing time or anything but i'm doing okay i think ^__^ b trying to stay positive and such. still very much thinking about website stuff and in fact theres some stuff i've already worked on that i just need to upload at some point.. i'll be back with another journal innn. well sometime between now and the end of february hopefully! goodbye for now.. sending powerful energies to You The person reading this
hoooo eeeyh. Hello to the world i just got back yesterday from a trip to the east coast to hang out with two of my delightful friends for 5 days so that's what i'll spend some time writing about because i had a fantastic time and i miss it all already.
where do i even begin....... We had a truly awesome time. i'm going to go over the food aspect of it all. because
it's a personal growth thing or whatever..... Food has been my #1 enemy for a long time purely because i am what
people refer to as a "picky eater". it's entirely true i am too picky and trying new foods is a struggle for me
blah blah there are very few meal foods that i will eat im working on it etc. in the past i've considered the fact that i would
be entirely willing to lose my sense of taste because truthfully it would make my life a lot easier. Mein freinden i spent time
with are food fans. something wonderful was able to bloom from this. we went to this korean hotpot bbq type place I had never been anywhere
like it before. they had one of those grill things in the middle of the table and a little spot for each person to cook their own soup/broth stuff.
it was an all you can eat place and so you could order ingredients and they'd bring them there for you to cook and put in your soupbroth. really neat place.
i didn't get any broth i mooched off of the stuff my friends got and then picked a few of my own things
Ive spent too long setting this up so here we goooo
FOOD REVIEW TIME!!!!!!!!!!:
korean fried chicken: 8/10 very solidly. it had its own like flavors/light sauce and was on the bone and everything. (things i am not used to) ** this wasn't gotten at the kpot place this was a night priot to that. but i definitely enjoyed it i ate it as my dinner for the night. i had gotten popeyes as a backup in case i didn't like the chicken and i didn't end up needing it at all i ended up saving it for another time
bok choy: 8/10 or so as well i quite like leaves. it wasnt cooked or anything just plain but i liked it:) its lower in my mind than the korean fried chicken because it wasn't as filling it was like a snack in my mind
garlic chicken bulgogi: probably a 7/10 honestly i had very few issues with it aside from the fact it had a slight sweetness to it which im not huge on in meats
beef bulgogi & hanger steak: 4.5/10 i dont remember the difference between these two honestly. they didnt stand out to me they were fine
pork belly: 3/10 it was a little too sweet for my liking and there wasn't really anything that made up for the sweetness in my mind
finger ribs: 3/10 there was an amount of fat that i really didn't enjoy. i was sitting rthere chewing it for so long i don't like it when foods take forever to chew like that. like i enjoy chewy stuff don't get me wrong but not when i might as well be chewing bubblegum
oyster mushroom: sadly...... 0/10. i cooked it a bit on the grill. i really really really hoped i would like it but i think i went in there too confident because i was shocked at how much i disliked it.
this was the only thing i definitely DID NOT LIKE. the texture was fine but the flavor was abhorrent to me personally. i was sad about this i smelled it a few times afterwards to see if i would warm up to it but i did not i shuddered every time
this all was a win for me (smiles) i can't remember the last time i tried this many brand new things in one sitting. i don't know that i ever have before. i'm still disappointed i didn't like the oyster myshroom but there are other mushrooms out there and i hope to find one i enjoy more someday :)
and not a new food but an honorable mention one of my friends made homemade garlic naan and fuuuuuuuccckkkkkk dude it was decadent. it was divine. i'm going to be daydreaming about her(garlic naan) for the rest of my life.
we did some other things as well such as: thrifting, spending time with rabbits, shopping, exploring, navigating, aquarium adventure, advising, analyzing, watching shows/movies/videos, parroting things back and forth to each other, and more!!!!!!! it was a really great time i feel refreshed after it all.
we got really into this video as well:
Calm down woody, we're your friends!!
Shut up buzz, i'll kill you.
sorry pal, but can we make amends?
Shut up slink i'm gonna kill you
Why can't we just talk it out?
Not this time Bo...
woody oh woody where have you bean?
Too late Andy, i'm killing you slow.
omg okay i'm kind of nervous i don't think ive ever really made a blog or journal like.
update post thing before. i'm going to just ignore spelling and grammar and punctuation in the
interest of not spending 2billion hours stressing about what i will and won't do. and also in the interest of having
my Unique and Authentic inner voice speak through...... so nothing will be formatted in any sort of way. light and love.
okay where do i even begin..... my life has basically been at a standstill for months but i actually don't want to
talk about that. i got really into stranger things (2016) ina deeply neurodivergent way in late august and it carried me really strongly through the following
like. 2 months? which is unusual for me. i usually am into things in a deeply neurodivergent way for like a week or two MAX. so that's been an interesting journey for me.
i'm talking about this in a past tense sort of but i am still very much invested in stranger things. it just doesn't have the same hold on my mind that it did. seriously
like it was a lot my brother would be like "why are you watching stranger things.. didn't you already finish it.. i thought you already rewatched this episode... you're always watching stranger things.."
and i was just like YEah im watching it because i like it. yeah i finished the series a few times. yeah ive rewatched this episode a few times. yeah i'm always watching it.
i brought it up in therapy a few times and my therapist almost tried to involve steve harrington in like some therapy exercise. which is kind of mortifying to even say. there's context
that makes it sound less unusual but just trust me on this okay it's all good. steve harrington is one of my favourite characters in the show
along with robin buckley and max mayfield. stobin (steve and robin) friendhsip (PLATONIC ONLY!!!!!!) is very very deeply important to me. max mayfield is a character of all time
to me. i'm gonna need to figure out a way to divide topics in these i think becuae why did i just write a paragraph about stranger things damn. i like looked away for a bit to
put on some music and came back and was like Waoh.... okay i think i've made my point here though. i like waitiiiiitttt no not yet becayse i haven't talked about like. the current state of stranger things.
for a while it was killing me knowing that no progress was being made on season 5 (due to writers & actors strikes. which im 100% on board with btw) BUT! then tthe writers strike at least ended and
the @strangerwriters account on twitter started posting again and it was like christmas they've posted a few "pre vis" scenes aka fuckass ugly models of the characters doing shit to prep for scenes with heavy vfx.
so that was a lot of fun for me and my vocabulary was changed by one qrt of a tweet it was like. i could find a screenshot of it actually i think i'll do that another time but it was a previs gif of stece and jonathan tampering
with a machine jonathan was fucking with the wires and then steve smacked the machine and it presumably started working. and grace @scoopstroops qrted it with something along th elines of "jonathan go help ur brother hess being mentally
tortured stop playing cables with steve harrington" and i'm utterly obsessed with it. playing cables with steve harrington. then i got a steve funko pop and put hiim in with some cables and i felt complete for a couple hours.
and then ugh okay os i'm kind of skipping over the very big bloody mess behind me that is "Steddie" (aka Steve x Eddie). i over complicate how i feel about steddie in my brain so much so i'm gonna try and explain it
in a straightforward and chill way. this reminds me of another tweet though also by grace @scoopstroops that i might add an image of as well that reads "steve did not know that man". which i completely agree with. steve harrington and
eddie munson did not know each other in stranger things on any sort of deeper level. they have like 1 actual conversation and a few short exchanges. they are not in love. they do not know each other. there are steddie fans that
are convinced that steddie was queerbaiting or that there was sexual or romantic tension between those two characters. i vehemently disagree. i also find some steddie fans to be annoying ESPECIALLY when they're fucking stupid and ignore
everything about the show to talk about their random ass steddie au daydreams. that annoys me. they mischaracterize both steve and eddie. despite all of this i enjoy steddie conceptually. and i enjoy what people do with them. and i've spent
hours reading pieces of steddie writing on ao3. which is deeply unusual for me i have never actuvely read fanfction for any piece of media since like. fnaf occasionally in 2016 on my ipad on fanfiction.net. So there's something sinister
happening with me in regards to steddie. idk idk.the thing is though it's kind of about steve for me like i like eddie as a character but if they mischaracterize steve i'm jumping ship asap. if they mischaracterize eddie i'll stick
around and see where it goes. so many people either make steve this big mean dumb macho alpha male or this little feminized omega twinkand its like GUYS!!!!!!!! Wake up. This isn't his heart. he's bitchy yes. he's a mean girl.
and he's also literally just some guy. like he's an average dude. he was bad in school. he's distanced himself from this high school iddea of popularity and his whole "King Steve" persona. so lets just be real about him.
i think i've gotten all of that out of my system. for now. **smiles**
my heart istelling me that i now should mention ive been watching yellowjackets with friends. we just finished the last episode today i wont lie that shit goes crazy the music in particular is lit as fuck. baller. W. type shit.
so on and so forth. i took a long time to watch it despite being curious because i am sensitive to intense fear, misery, despair, etc. in shows and movies. but i did it. i actually think it might subconsciously be affectubg ne though
if i'm being honest because i've been less mentally well this past week or two. which kind of coincides with when i watched it i think but it could also be a coincidence. and either way i'm glad i watched it so
if it is due to that. i mean. i'm done now. so it should be ok ^__^. and before that friends & i were revisiting danganronpa 2 for the first time in many years it was quite nostalgic. i miss komaeda he will always be famous to me.
i actually don't think i have too much else to say. i'm listening to badlands by halsey because some of these songs are tooooooo good.