Published: July 6th 2021

hello and welcome to my monster energy drink review. i have rated the drink on a number of factors: all of these contribute to the overall score.

i've included both an objective and personal view on each factor.

factor objective view personal view
FLAVOR: 8/10 fizz works well with the rest of the drink, distinct flavour, sweet/sour lime (like a gummy candy, maybe sour patch kids). there's a caffeine aftertaste. strong chemical flavor. it's quite good for what it's intended to be. nothing naturally occuring in nature seems to be in this drink. definitely tastes green, reminds me of battery acid or nuclear waste in a sickly sweet way. these aren't necessarily bad things though.
AESTHETIC: 6/10 strong aesthetic. i drink it and i understand. it;s green gamer juice. you drink it and stay up until 4 in the morning. Monster Energy projected an image of their product successfully, it tasted about how i imagined and they deserve credit for that. i also like the logo and appreciate the fact it can be translated to a variety of colors for their different flavors and remain recognizable however... the aesthetic of the flavor is not one of empowerment or delight. although the taste isn't bad, the vibe i get is that i havent left my room or showered in a week, theres dirty clothes everywhere, and i hardly remember the light of day. it reminds me of a depressive episode. it tastes like the review picture.
EFFECT: N/A i had forgotten that i have adhd (caffeine tends to affect people with adhd differently) so i can't answer this properly. i drank it over the course of one hour, then waited another hour to see if i would notice a change but felt nothing, and after another hour i felt a little sick.
REDRINKABILITY: 5/10 i imagine that if you were up late gaming or something and needed an energy boost you could drink a few of these in a night. only in this case though, as i think gaming helps as a partial distraction from the flavor itself (which shouldn't be dwelled on for too long). i found the flavor to be so potent that i had to take my time drinking it (as mentioned earlier, i drank it over the course of an hour). i felt a little sick as i did so, something about the nuclear waste flavor made me feel like i was poisoning my body. at this point i want to wait at least a month for my body to flush out the toxins before i think it would be safe to consume another.
OVERALL SCORE: 7/10 at the end of the day, i didn't love the monster energy drink. part of this may be due to the fact it didn't give me the "big bad buzz that only Monster can." as advertised. however, the flavor is pretty good (despite the mentioned battery acid/nuclear waste/radioactive juices correlation) and i respect the vibe that Monster Energy has cultivated with their product.

i'm starting to feel quite ill thank you for reading make sure to tune in next time